By: Vivek Sharma, Social  (Social Entrepreneur)

There is no bigger weight than carrying one’s own child for cremation, whatever age or whatever stage of the life it is. This is an unimaginable situation and none of us ever expect this to happen at least to us or anyone close to us.

Acceptance

This is the first big challenge any parent faces while seeing a vibrant life created out of their love and compassion, leaving earth just in front of them. It’s extremely painful and heart wringing. But, the fact is, it’s over… It cannot be reversed. The gone child can’t come back to life. Tell your brain and heart, sometimes, it’s better to go than living in pain (like mental disorders, comatose conditions or anything of that sort). What has gone away, probably was meant to be with us for that period only.

Be mentally Strong

For some time, detach yourself from your parenthood and peep into the world around, you’ll notice that people who are misused, abused or traumatized are the ones who due to some of their personal problem had become mentally and emotionally weak. So, if you become emotionally and mentally weak, you’ll surely be vulnerable to such social vultures who are always in the lookout for such people to take advantage of. And, by and large these are not the people outside your circle, so you have to be very careful about it. Even if you’re not as strong, pretend till few months or an year.

Cherishing the memories over chasing the memories

Death is inevitable, it is permanent and everyone around us has to die someday or the other. It is very painful to see our child go before us but, remember Rajesh Khanna’s popular dialogue “Zindagi lambi nahi, Badi honi chahiye”. We as a human, are actually piece of muscle and bones without memories. Can I say our memories make us move? Just try and relate to any aspect of your life and you’ll figure it out. For example: however successful businessman/ doctor/ engineer/ politician/ author or anything else I am, if I lose my memory; I’m nothing. So, cherish the beautiful memories spent with the child, it keeps the child alive forever.

Filling the void

If such kind of incident has happened in someone’s life at early age, they must try to conceive and give birth to a child (I do believe in reincarnation and journey of a soul).

Other options could be adopting someone in need, taking a pet home or gardening or anything productive what one can do. We are humans and emotions cannot be separated from us; we need our emotions to flow and to let emotions flow, we need someone around.

Giving Back to society

The most effective way, I have found, to come over the trauma is to give back to society, country and mankind. Start an NGO or join someone as per your interest and capabilities and start giving back. This activity not only will give you solace but will bring out the best of you which the entire world including you have never imagined. Every time I feel immensely depressed, I come out with an idea which has the potential to transform the lives of people around me. Always remember, if you’re going through such a pain and are alive, you’re alive for a reason. Find out the reason and surrender to nature