Lake Jackson, TX) – Plenty of people move to Florida to retire, run out the clock and die. While not what he or the good people at Florida State had in mind, it seems that Coach Willie Taggart’s move from Oregon back to Florida is the beginning of the end of his head coaching career. Which is why Coach Willie Taggart is the winner of the SwampButt Underwear™ (www.swampbutt.com) ‘College Football Coach On The Hot Seat’ for week three.

Others Receiving Votes

The competition heated up this week with votes for the following coaches:

Scott Frost, Nebraska. Lost to Troy.

Clay Helton, USC. Lost to Texas.

Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern. Lost to Akron and everyone else.

Major Applewhite of Houston is also in the hunt as the Cougars scored 49 points and have Ed Oliver, the nations’ premier defensive player on the roster, and still found a way to get beat by Texas Tech 63-49. With the win over Houston, Kliff Kingsbury of Texas Tech is not on the ‘Hot Seat’ radar, for the moment though his return seems inevitable.

Seminoles Circling The Drain

Three games into the 2018 season, the Seminoles are 0-3, the latest loss to Syracuse, a basketball school. In a classy move, that other head coaches will want to make note of, Coach Taggart put the blame for the latest loss squarely on the players.

When asked about the prospect of substituting his quarterback, Taggart threw his offensive line under the team bus saying, “So you want me to put someone else in there to get hit like that? No, because Deondre wasn’t the problem,” Taggart said. “If Deondre (Francois) was a problem, if I thought he was the problem, I would’ve made a change. Deondre is not the problem right now. So no, I didn’t think about changing.”

The news gets even worse for fans and graduates of Florida State.

Twenty-One Million Reasons

Taggart’s buy out of his contract would cost the school over $21 million American dollars. The state of FSU football is so bad, that several GoFundMe pages are devoted to raising the money to buy Taggart out. One in particular was started by former adult film star, Mia Khalifa. Ouch. “I do not profess to know how public schools in Florida are funded or how their athletic programs pay the bills,” all of the sudden expert and SwampButt Underwear spokesperson Nick Heraldson declared. “But a $21 million hit to fire somebody is a real hickey.” When asked about his knowledge of Mia Khalifa, Heraldson said, “that whole situation in Libya was messed up. While brutal, getting rid of Khalifa was probably for the best in Libya and the region.”

A Solid Mediocre Record

Taggart has an overall losing record as a head coach with 47 wins and 52 losses. Records like this do not tell the whole story and it would be unfair to judge Coach Taggart on this alone. “It’s obvious that the people at Florida State responsible for hiring Coach Taggart ignored his won/loss record, were not aware or not informed about his win-loss record,” said Heraldson. “Maybe he interviews well or has the right friends or something. But hiring a coach with .500 record is unsmart. He had one good year at South Florida, going 10-2, but that was it.”

The USF Lady Bulls?

Heraldson also wondered about the nickname of the South Florida team, the Bulls, and the impact it had on gender diversity at the school. “What do they call the women’s teams, the ‘Lady Bulls’?”

Reasons For Seminole Optimism?

The GoFundme thing works out and the school can buy Taggart out.

A wealthy relative of Florida State passes away and leaves enough money to get rid of Coach Taggart and hire his replacement.

Divine intervention.

“In 10,000 years from now, no one will remember you hired Willie Taggart,” Heraldson said. “So you’ve got that going for you.”