Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Husband says; “When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me”

Wife replied; “What makes you think I’d want another man like you!”

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You  order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish  you had ordered that

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Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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A lion was getting married. At his wedding was a mouse shouting away and congratulating the lion

“All the best, my brother. Good luck.”

Seeing the mouse shouting away claiming that the lion getting married is his brother, another Lion grabs the mouse in anger and asks: “Who the hell do you think you are? How can a lion be your brother? You are only a mouse.”

The Mouse replies: “I, too, was a Lion before I got married.”

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Bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

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Doug goes to a doctor and says: “Doctor, my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?”

The doctor replies, “Try coming home at 3 in the morning!”

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Santa:Judge saab,mujhe TALAAQ chahiye,meri biwi ne 1 saal se mujhse baat nahi ki

Judge:1 bar phir sochle beta,aisi biwi nasib walon ko milti hain!

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Every person is a FREEDOM FIGHTER….. …
Immediately after Marriage!!

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Why do only 30% of wives get into Heaven?
—If it were more, it would be Hell.

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One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY

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A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

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It’s funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered

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A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

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Sagaai hui… Shadi Hui… Biwi ghar main aayi… ghar SWARG ban
gaya…
aur main…SWARGWASI…

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My husband and I divorced over religious differences.

He thought he was God, and I didn’t.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course…at least he’ll shut up after you let him in!

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

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Married life can be very frustrating.

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!”

The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here.”

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage,

the “y” becomes silent.

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get

married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

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Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married – and now he is going thru hell.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or the wife is

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A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If

you don’t promise to send us $100,000, we promise you we will kidnap your wife.”

The poor man wrote back, ” I am afraid I can’t keep my promise

but I hope you will keep yours.”

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“What’s the matter, you look depressed.” “I’m having trouble with my wife.” “What happened?” “She said she wasn’t going to speak to me for 30 days.”

“But that ought to make you happy.” “It did, but today is the last day.”

Mr. Jones patted his daughter’s hand fondly, and told her, “Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent.”

Oh, Papa,” gushed the daughter, “it’s going to be so hard leaving mother.”

“I understand perfectly, my dear,” beamed Mr. Jones. “You just take  her with you.”

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PATNI TV M Cricket Dekh Rhi Thi

Pati Akar Bola Darling Aj Mai Kaisa Lag Raha Hu?

Tabhi Patni Zor Se Chilai “CHAKKA”

Pappu Ne Ak Car Li Loan Pe

Loan Nhi Chuka Pane Se

Bank Wale Car Utha Le Gaye.

Pappu Rote Hue:

Pahle Pata Hota To Shadi B Loan Lekar Karta

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Q: What’s the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?

A: 45 pounds.

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‘Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ the divorce Court Judge said, ‘And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week,’

‘Way to go, your honor,’ the husband said. ‘And every now and then I’ll also try to send her a few bucks myself.’

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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, ‘I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.’

‘Tell you the truth, me neither doc,’ said the husband. ‘But she’s a great cook and takes good care of the kids.’

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Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

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An old rich man marries a young gal.

Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?

Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.