Lake Jackson, Texas  : It is Week 11 of the college football season and SwampButt Underwear™ (www.swampbutt.com) knows what you’re thinking:

• I can’t wait to see what ESPN is apologizing for this week.
• Don’t you wish the college football playoffs had their own version of the NIT?
• How does the state of Texas have all these great high school football players but so many average college teams?
• I get why Houston was not in the Top 25 last week.

“I think they call Texas the ‘Lone Star State’ because its teams are never alone or lonely or any good plus in the loss column,” said SwampButt Underwear spokesperson Nick Heraldson. NOTE: Nick lost a lot of money this past weekend and might be still too drunk to say a good punchline. “I blame everybody but me.”

Temperatures are expected to be 40s and 50s this weekend. And fans in the stands can expect their game day experience to a wet, smelly mess even in the cooler temperatures. SwampButt Underwear is made for these sweaty times.

Games People Play

Ole Miss at Texas A&M: 11 a.m. start for this game? No way!

South Carolina at Florida : Will Muschamp claims he didn’t know there was an election this week but he lives in Florida and his vote probably would not be counted anyway, so it makes sense. So much for democracy. So little time.

Ohio State at Michigan State: How many Buckeyes will be on the field for the Spartans’ tradition? Hopefully all of them.

TCU at West Virginia : Can’t wait to see the Frogs Down sign!

Wisconsin at Penn State: Who cares?

Alabama at Mississippi State: If the Bulldogs get some bounces to go their way …

Kentucky at Tennessee: Just imagine if Gruden had taken the Volunteer job.

Washington State at Colorado: The Cougars are No. 8. Really? I’ve got to start staying up later.

Michigan at Rutgers: Wolverines score 100?

Oklahoma State at Oklahoma: So many missed tackles.

Auburn at Georgia: Auburn had to announce that Gus Malzahn would be back next year despite just having signed him to a seven-year deal and after a win. Never change SEC.

Texas at Texas Tech: Who doesn’t want to see some Kingsbury-Herman fisticuffs?

Temple at Houston: With cooler temperatures and the possibility of rain, coupled with Houston fans unrealistic expectations and last week’s loss to SMU, a few dozen people will be at this game, but will leave after the first 15 minutes.

Solid, Rational Football Stuff

The SwampButt Underwear research and development department recently confirmed that almost everyone has a butt. And a lot of those same people with butts wear underwear. And on hot days those butts sweat.

SwampButt Underwear is specifically formulated to help fight the grim affliction known as swampbutt. Our specially formulated drawers work through the magic of wicking, which is the way moisture travels across a large area of fabric. The further the sweat disperses across the surface the faster it can evaporate. And that’s pretty handy on a hot or cold day.

Who Should Wear SwampButt Underwear

We at SwampButt Underwear don’t know a lot about football, but we do know a lot about sweat. The kind you get sitting in the stands, walking to the stadium or running from the other team’s fans after you point to the scoreboard and yell something about a tryst between their mothers and the mascot. Each activity is going to give you a sweaty backside. And we can help.

The people who wear our underwear participate in all types of activities, including:

• attending college football games

• betting on college football games

• letting their happiness be directly impacted by the collective performance of a group of students participating in a college football game

• golf, tennis, cricket, running, tailgating, fishing, baseball, football, rugby, basketball, hunting, camping, darts, volleyball, Uno, hiking, softball, washers, dice, cornhole, poker and bowling

• many other sports and leisure activities

And most of those people sweat a lot – especially around their butts.

“SwampButt Underwear can help you not embarrass yourself with sweat issues whether you are watching or playing sports,” said Heraldson. “We can’t help you with your need for your college football team to be better, but we can help you be comfortable doing it.”

About SwampButt Underwear

Men’s Performance SwampButt Underwear is perfect for the guy who has sweat issues south of the belt or just likes to be comfortable. These incredible drawers were created to draw sweat away from the skin and are made with 91% polyester and 9% spandex.

• Form fitting with natural coverage

• Wicks away moisture for improved wear-ability

• Quick drying

• Extends to mid-thigh

• Great strength and resilience

• Signature logo on waistband

• Machine wash and dry

SwampButt Underwear™ is a registered trademark in the USA and other countries. We paid a lot for it, so please do not use it without permission.