Lake Jackson, Texas :  Forget the ‘turnover backpack’. SwampButt Underwear™ (www.swampbutt.com) announced today that it was offering its line of performance underwear to college and university football teams who need a tangible reward to inform the world they have become the beneficiary of an interception or fumble. Introducing the SwampButt Underwear Turnover Drawers – college football’s ultimate reward.

Like A Trophy, Sort Of

“I always thought it was pretty clear when a team lost possession of the football,” said SwampButt Underwear spokesperson Nick Heraldson. “I mean there’s usually a lot of hullabaloo afterward with the referee pointing, fans yelling and some poor kid questioning a number of his life decisions. But more is needed and that’s where we can help a team exhibit its latest on-field accomplishment with SwampButt Underwear Turnover Drawers,” Heraldson said. “Players work hard in practice, meetings, the weight room and some even attend classes. Finally, there is an recognition for that sweat and sacrifice.”

Inspired By Heroes Like Batman and Superman

Heroes from the comics, movies and television all wear their underwear over their tights. “We cannot show a photo because they are all copyrighted,” Heraldson said. The lucky player takes the teams’ SwampButt Underwear turnover drawers and pulls them on over their football pants,” Heraldson directed. “When players see these drawers worn the way their heroes do, they are going to start giving 111 percent and begin stomping teams only giving 110 percent.”

The Backpack of Shame

Recently a few collegiate gridiron squads have begun to use objects to indicate their accomplishments:

• a turnover chain (nice at first but overdone)
• a turnover backpack (seriously? It looks like the player lost a bet or was being punished)
• a trashcan (WTF?)

“The idea of turnover drawers make as much sense as any of these,” Heraldson stated.

Where There Is A Need

“It’s obvious to anyone who watches college football that SwampButt Underwear Turnover Drawers are badly needed,” said Heraldson. “What coach, fan or degenerate gambler doesn’t want to see a player be awarded a pair of SwampButt Underwear Turnover Drawers on the sideline and then watch him hold them up to the adoring crowd. I’m thinking like those scenes in The Lion King or Sixteen Candles. Then he can put them on over his pants to let everyone know what a badass he is.”

Anytime a linebacker wearing a pair of Turnover Drawers is seen, the opposing player will run in the other direction. “Some players may just hand him the ball to avoid his wrath,” Heraldson speculated. SwampButt Underwear has a lot of styles and colors, so every team can participate. “As long as your school’s colors include: black, blue, reddish maroon, brown or white we have your teams’ colors, Heraldson declared. “And our gear is inexpensive, so every defender can partake in the fun if they earn it.”

Change The Game & Underwear

Interested athletic directors and coaches get a free pair of SwampButt Underwear with each gross (120 pairs) purchased. “You would have to be some type of a moron not to see the impact that SwampButt Underwear Turnover Drawers are going to make,” said Heraldson. “Someday football historians will look back at this moment and tell everyone that the three innovations that changed the game were the invention of the forward pass, the neck roll and SwampButt Underwear Turnover Drawers. What a time to be alive!”

Solid, Rational Football Stuff

Heraldson said that players will get a tremendous benefit from wearing SwampButt Underwear under their pants as well.

“The SwampButt Underwear research and development department recently confirmed that almost everyone has a butt, including football players,” said Heraldson. “And on hot days those butts sweat. SwampButt Underwear is specifically formulated to help fight the grim affliction known as swampbutt. Our specially formulated drawers work through the magic of wicking, which is the way moisture travels across a large area of fabric. The further the sweat disperses across the surface the faster it can evaporate. And that’s pretty handy on a hot day.”

Who Should Wear SwampButt Underwear

We at SwampButt Underwear don’t know a lot about playing football, but we do know a lot about watching football and sweating. The kind you get sitting in the stands, walking to the stadium or running from the other team’s fans after you point to the scoreboard and yell something about a tryst between their mothers and the mascot. Each activity is going to give you a sweaty backside. And we can help.

The people who wear our underwear participate in all types of activities, including:

• attending college football games
• betting on college football games
• letting their happiness be directly impacted by the collective performance of a group of students participating in a college football game
• golf, tennis, cricket, running, tailgating, fishing, baseball, football, rugby, basketball, hunting, camping, darts, volleyball, Uno, hiking, softball, washers, dice, cornhole, poker and bowling
• many other sports and leisure activities

And most of those people sweat a lot – especially around their butts.